Last night was the quietest NYE I ever had. The neighborhood was loud and the laughs on the inside of the house were great and large in number, but in my heart...it was quiet. It was still. I was still. We all gathered around the tv, two families in a living room under warm blankets, and watched The Help while waiting for the clock to strike midnight. We threw in a quick game of Apples to Apples and Bananagrams (we love fruits, can you tell?) and as we played and ate ice cream, we could hear the roar of fire works that began to shake the neighborhood. It was a familiar sound that I have grown so used to. I grew up with that sound every December 31st.
Then midnight came and so did the greetings and kisses - no "real" kisses on New Year's for me yet. After greeting my family and taking in a lot of hugs, I sat on the couch listening to the raucous that cheered throughout the streets that lined our town. As loud and far as they were, I was quiet and I took it all in. I thought of all the things I accomplished in a year and all the things I had wished to finish that I never got to. I pondered on my family and the closeness that we share and the separation that I long for - the good kind of separation, trust me. My heart flooded with such great emotion that I swear I sat there for a good hour thinking and thinking and thinking. But unbeknown to my heavy heart, I spent about 2 minutes thinking a lifetime of questions.
I was startled out of my "trance" by my 8-year old cousin who was over the moon about all of the (illegal) pyros that were shooting through the night sky. The look on her face made my heart happy and it made me feel warm and it legitimized my wanting to have a family with kids and a puppy and mad house full of books, art and a full ice box, but that's another story for another post.
I am going to have a great year. It'll be full of ups and downs, but I'll be alive and I'll be more aware of all the things in life. I'll be healthier than ever and I will, I promise you, I will visit another country, or two (goal #4) ... and again, that's another story for a whole different post. So, here's to a great year. Whether you spent a quiet evening like me or a loud one like the people down the street, we deserve a good year. Reach for all that is unreachable and don't wait another 12 months to start dreaming.
Happy New Year lovelies!