I'm usually very quiet when it comes to expressing my true feelings about whatever is going on in my life. I try to share a lot of it here on the blog, because for some reason (all the good reasons) I feel enormously close to all of you. But, even those who are physically close to me never get the real inside scoop of my heart. I've been learning how to share, in small detail, about how happy I can be or how angry and frustrated I am.
Today, I'm frustrated. I'm negative and I feel like screaming in the face of everyone I come in contact with. I woke up with an eye that looked like it was punched numerous amounts of time by an eyelash, I'm having the worst hair day ever and I finally realized that I am an emotional wreck. I also came to the conclusion that I am beyond my weight limit for a twenty-something and that if I don't do anything about it, I will end up with some form of diabetes within the next 5 years.
It's crazy how frustration makes us think and "realize" things that only make us more frustrated. Maybe I'm a masochist? I'm all this pain and frustration wrapped up in layers of unhealthiness but I enjoy sulking in the fact it makes me feel like I'm alive. Maybe I just need to be slapped out of my trance and get on with life.
Change sucks and this is the first time - and possibly the last time - you'll ever see me vent on this blog. For those of you who read to this very last sentence, you are troopers. Troopers, I tell ya!